Sexual Assault, Jesus, and Me

Sexual Harassment, Jesus, and Me

I was a freshman at a Christian university in South Carolina. He was the head of security for that university. He paid me $50 a week to take part in an exercise program, and he monitored the results, observing my technique, measuring growth, and checking muscle tone. He told me it was for his doctoral program … Continued

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How to Become a Bible Reading Family

How to Become a Bible Reading Family

Early this morning I was drinking coffee and reading the first five chapters of Psalms, since it is the first day of the month. I noticed Brooke was drinking coffee and looking at her phone. Then and there I made a decision. It’s a decision that earlier in our marriage I have been scared to … Continued

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How to Understand the Difference Between Husbands and Wives

Hard to Understand: Recognizing Your Wife’s Differences

We have very few important items in our home. We try to be pretty low maintenance people, especially when it comes to things. We’re church planters, missionaries who have invested everything we have in people, relationships, and church. However, while unpacking after our most recent move, I reflected on one piece of crystal that means … Continued

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Dealing with Discouragement

Dealing with Discouragement

The sun doesn’t shine much in Portland, but on this day the clouds surrendered and the boggy playground near our Portland suburb exploded with color, warmth, and my daughter’s excitement. Bailey was 10 years old, and a 10-year-old girl has the ability to ride a small bicycle faster and with more daring than any grown … Continued

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Reflections on My 21st Anniversary: How Wives Are Made

Upon reflection, marrying a beautiful woman isn’t that hard. I was an underemployed, college dropout when Brooke married me. We later found out that someone literally planned to interrupt the ceremony when the pastor asked: “If anyone has a reason for these two not to wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.” When I … Continued

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Why We Should Acknowledge Failure

Why We Should Acknowledge Failure

When I was in the fourth grade I wanted to ride a horse. So, I got my little brother Alan to lure one underneath a tree where I would hop on and take off bareback like in the movies. I remember being surprised by the width of his back beneath me and the violence of … Continued

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How a Bad Pastor Joke Can Make Your Parenting Worse

How a Bad Pastor Joke Can Make Your Parenting Worse

Pastors have a series of weak jokes they tell about how their views on parenting have changed as they’ve matured. The idea is that young ministers preach with certainty about parenting, but the older, wiser pastors who have actually raised kids preach with a much less certain tone. They are silly jokes that aren’t funny and … Continued

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Balancing the Roles of Parent and Spouse

Balancing the Roles of Parent and Spouse

If you really want to be the best parent you can be, make your marriage your priority. Soon, Brooke and I will be like those couples who’ve been together longer than they were apart. We were married at 22 and are thrilled to be in a thriving 21-year marriage. That means I was with Brooke … Continued

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God, Nietzsche, and Ben Folds

I’ve been jokingly called emotionally repressed, but I think that’s just because I’m not a fan of emotional manipulation in churches. Canned stories and situations designed to bring tears to your eyes tend to make me roll mine. If God Is Dead But at home, it all comes out. Watching this video of Ben Folds … Continued

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Bad Words Church Planters

A List of Bad Words for Church Planters

Sometimes, aspiring or new church planters will ask me for advice or critique. Here are two points concerning their use of language, including a list of bad words for church planters: Be intentional about language you use. You’ll find it more difficult to connect with people if you’re using words that they associate with being … Continued

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