It’s easy to start moving toward marriage without asking the right questions. But are you really ready? This should help you decide. Ask yourself these questions, or better yet, walk through them with a man whose marriage you admire. These are 20 questions for guys pursuing marriage:

  1. Do you have a job? Part-time or full-time? Are you paying all your bills?
  2. Where do you live? On your own, with parents, with a buddy, with your girlfriend?
  3. How much do you owe (car, house, student loans, etc.)?
  4. Where do you go to church? What do you do there (how do you serve)? What is the pastor’s name, and how long has he been there?
  5. Do you have any meaningful Christian friends? If so, who are they? How many are male, and how many are female?
  6. What do you believe about:
    • Salvation? (Does everyone get to go to heaven or just those who believe?)
    • Jesus? (Is Jesus the Son of God who died for human sin and resurrected or just an ancient religious figure? What does Jesus mean to you?)
    • Authority? (Do you submit to the authority of a local church? Do you attend worship to learn and grow, recognizing the role of pastor to lead you?)
  7. How often do you look at porn? Hourly, daily, weekly, or every once in while when you’re lonely?
  8. Do you have any secret emails or social media accounts?
  9. What are “deal breakers” for you in marriage? Debt, infidelity, weight gain, kids?
  10. How often do you get high or drunk?
  11. How often do you pray with your spouse-to-be? Do you talk about the Bible and what you are learning from God with her often, or do you consider that a “private matter”?
  12. Are you willing to be the sole provider? Do you intend to make her work and not have kids so you can buy toys and have fun?
  13. Do you honor and respect her? Have you ever hit her? Ever called her names? Ever done or said anything to her that if her dad found out you would run and hide?
  14. What do your parents think of her?
  15. If you have solid friends that follow Jesus, what do they think of her?
  16. Are you willing to prioritize her and your marriage above your parents?
  17. Is there anything about yourself that you are waiting to tell her about after you are married or are never planning on telling her? (Go ahead and tell her today. Deception rots the foundations of a healthy marriage.)
  18. Do you want to be best friends with her for the rest of your life?
  19. Have you lied about any of this?
  20. Did any of this make you mad? Why?
Cody Deevers

Cody Deevers

Cody Deevers is the pastor of Valley Life | Arrowhead. He is a regular writer for LifeWay Pastors.